Well one week into the plan and all is well. I was bowled over the first day because “M” didn’t come downstairs once. Not once. This after the day of ten visits. Of course post sticker-issuing, and me kicking myself that I had not decided to do this ages ago (and thinking I had completely underestimated my amazing daughters alone time ability) I discovered that she had gone in to visit her dad in his “office” three times during the hour and half she was up there (riiiiiight, novelty of dad, aka favorite person in the whole world, working from home in his office/laundry/play room three steps away from her room, not ideal). But he assures me she was just in for quick visits and didn’t linger or disrupt him.
The second day “M” clearly thought she was doing an excellent job because she gave herself a sticker. I did have one visit from her telling me about the sticker issuing during which she quickly realized that neither the sticker initiative nor the visit were good ideas. Once the threat of said sticker being removed was mentioned she skiddadled.
Day three went well. I let her play outside for a bit and then she went to her room. Clever girl fooled me about 15 minutes from the end declaring that her clock had broken and that the alarm had gone off and then stopped. I innocently thought perhaps I had set the wrong time and that somehow simultaneously the alarm went off and the battery died…..silly mom. I went upstairs to discover that apparently the clock was just moving too slow for her. Three minutes later when she attempted to pull the same joke again I was wise to the act. Again the threat of no sticker, and again full compliance from that point on.
Day four not so great. About half way through I calmly declared that there would be no sticker given today and she instantly relented and admitted she was “having a tough time today”.
Day five. Stroke of brilliance on my part. Although part of the goal is for Maddy to come up with things to do herself, sometimes she just needs a project. To be honest this is what I had been attempting to do pre-chart but I had always given her art projects which eventually became my downfall because she would want glue, scissors, glitter, etc. Not only did this result in a million trips downstairs to get said art supplies but I was not at all wild about the idea of any of the mentioned items being used without supervision and in “M’s” room. But today I gave her playdoh. I set up the playdoh bin on the office chair mat (a giant hard plastic sheet). ”M” spent the entire time upstairs playing and using her imagination. She came downstairs when time was up with an entire backstory about what she built and how it all worked. Definitely not something I plan to give her on a daily basis but a good idea.
ICE CREAM REWARD!
Results after week 1: A solid first week of alone time improvement. I actually think it’s a good thing that there was at least one rough day/no sticker because she learned that she would only get rewards for having “successful” quiet time days. I’m hopeful that with more time she’ll get even better about alone time and, who knows, even look forward to it. Conclusion: Reward-based plan working.











































